What Forms to Fill Out When Filing for Divorce

Recently I was contacted by my pastor to help out a sister in Christ with her divorce situation. It was unfortunate that she was in the position of having to file for divorce, but she had done everything she could on her part and after years of counsel and guidance by the pastors, it was time. But she didn't have the money to hire an attorney and she didn't know where to start or what forms to file.

When she asked me how much it would cost and mentioned $500.00, I laughed and made a comment about my ex-husband never spending that much money to file for divorce with me. Boy was I surprised and saddened, again, at the lengths people go to end a marriage. I'm sure the courts have a high price tag as a deterrent, yet it has been recorded that 2,400 divorces are filed each day in the United States (see references below [1]). When I went to look it up, it was between $435-450 to file(ref [2]). That does not include copies you have to pay for or any stamps needed for sending copies.

The basic forms include

FL 100, 105, 110, 115, 120, 160(may not be needed, but it is determined by your situation), 311. You can check out the details on my reference 2 link and click on the different forms to check them out. They also have a list with details, like a cheat sheet, that might be helpful.

If you need to add a Declaration, meaning additional information that will support your case, you will likely want the MC 030 form. If you have "Exhibits", which would be like a police report, receipts, text messages, doctors notes, video on cd (yep), journal study on a particular point you are arguing for, you will include those Exhibits in your Declaration, make it succinct and clear, and then add those Exhibits after your Declaration.

If you want me to give more specifics on any of these forms, please let me know and I can put together another blog post.

Some sites have templates you can fill out online and then print. MAKE SURE TO DELETE WHAT YOU HAVE ENTERED SO IT IS REMOVED FROM THE WIFI NETWORK. This will ensure your privacy and protection, just in case you have a hacker on your hands.

Looking at all of these forms may be overwhelming. It is. I believe it is meant to be this way for a reason. Divorce isn't to be taken lightly and God isn't pro-divorce. But there are circumstances when it is necessary and Biblically sound. If you can get help filling out the forms, great. The courthouse often has a department where they have people who can assist you but they won't give you "legal" advice. There are some places that will charge a nominal fee. You can check in your area and see if that is an option. I did find an organization that charged $25, but I never ended up using them. I don't remember the name, but I can try and look them up. I often went with an attorney that offered consultation at a very discounted price and then I filled out all of the paperwork myself. When I actually had to go to court, oftentimes I had an attorney go with me because my panic attacks were bad to effectively represent myself in court. That did change with Zoom court hearings though. I found them to be much easier to represent myself. And I did the last three years of my custody battling.

I did use a prepaid legal service and I have listed two references below that you can check out (ref [3,4]). My attorney was not the best, but he won my case and I was thankful. The services are at a discounted rate, which might be helpful.

Whatever you do and whenever you are doing it, BE PRAYERFUL. 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 reminds us to "Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." and Philippians 4:6 says: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

TRUST GOD. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths." This was my go-to scripture and continues to be when difficulties arise that are overwhelming to understand.

BE WISE. James 4:3 says: "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." Sometimes we want things that are not in the children's best interest, are not a part of God's plan, and might just be selfish or wrong. So pray about what you want, take it to scripture and talk to someone who knows God's word to make sure you are lining up with God before you make big decisions. 

Remember that the battle for our children and marriage(if you are hoping to remain married at some point) is not of flesh in blood, but a spiritual battle. Ephesians 6:12 says: "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says: For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.

1 Peter 5:8 says: Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

The battle is real folks. If you are here and don't believe in Jesus Christ or the Bible, I was once you, so I understand. But I am here to tell you there is a spiritual battle going on, it is real, the consequences are brutal, and our children's souls are at risk. God will fight for you! He loves you and your children. He is for you not against you. His redemptive love is greater than any worldy stronghold you might have going on in your life. Don't believe worldly lies. God IS greater.

Sending everyone lost of love and prayers as you navigate this challenging season. Please reach out if you have questions or feedback. I believe all of my contact info is up to date.

Joyfully for God's glory,

Ashley

References

1. https://canterburylawgroup.com/divorce-statistics-rates/#:~:text=Facts%20About%20Divorce,that%20ends%20with%20a%20divorce.

2. https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-forms

3. https://www.legalshield.com/

4. https://www.araglegal.com/individuals